Terrifying! I have been looking down the gun barrel of this birthday from January 20th of 2012. I've examined this 'milestone' from every aspect; hoping for the growth of wisdom, discovering my more caring side, learning to accept my demise with grace, inspiring those around me with my humility, dedication to my art and care of homeless kittens.
So far this has not worked.
I find myself reading inspirational articles and books by the truckloads. It seems that there are those who find the magic key and at the end of said articles are ready to sail off into the sunset, sans teeth, sans hair, sans everything with annoying cheerfulness and irritating sang-froid. Let me say, though I am a dedicated meditator (reasonably so) I am rather more Scrooge-like in this aspect- I want to cling to the gold of this life; actually I want to keep enough faculties to be able to paint the pictures I want to paint, keep my husband well fed and happy and my house clean. It would also be nice to have a major article in the New York Times art section proclaiming my genius and a sellout show in a major gallery!
As I have my gimlet eye, lasered in on 71, life as usual is taking over. One of my cats just took a dive off a deck and fractured his jaw. He needs thousands of dollars worth of surgery and will have to be pampered for weeks.
Ouch!
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